Before I get to what this post is really all about, I would like to take a moment to set my scene for you...it's quite comical I swear. I decided to come to Starbucks this afternoon, for many reasons. One for some coffee, two for the free wifi that accompanies the coffee...and lastly, I just really needed to get out of the house (you'll understand why if you keep reading *does evil laugh inside her head*...and yes, I did just refer to myself in the third person...I have entered this level of crazy, ladies and gentlemen). Although coming to Starbucks seemed like a good idea at the time, it hardly ever is. While I do enjoy the quiet chatter that surrounds a coffee shop, Starbucks is always very crowded...it's like they were playing Tetris to see how many pieces of furniture they could possibly fit into one room. Needless to say, I ended up cramped next to some guy in one of the leather chairs because I needed an outlet (literally). Needless to say, the gentleman left shortly after I loudly arranged my things (it happens...I couldn't help it). He was either annoyed by me (and if I were him I would have left also)...or thought I smelled weird. This is also a possibility considering that I didn't shower yesterday, and still haven't today. NEWSFLASH! I am a woman, and have not showered in two days...sue me.
Anyway, now that my beginning rant is over, I can tell you why life has recently felt a lot like candy crush. For those of you who play, perhaps you have pondered this idea, but maybe not. I myself, am not very good at candy crush. I typically don't beat a level on the first try and give up due to frustration...only to start back at it hours later. This is exactly how my life has felt recently. NEWSFLASH #2 Packing sucks. On top of packing, I've been dealing with a whirlwind of emotions with moving. Much like candy crush, I often find myself feeling completely defeated. Overwhelmed by the mess that we're calling our "apartment" right now...half packed...and the other half just laying in heaps. It is so hard to find any kind of motivation when you pack and clean for a few hours, and yet you still feel like you've accomplished nothing. I hate packing, and was quickly reminded this week as to why. My life has also felt like candy crush in the friend department too. The past two weeks have been extremely rough for me. I've been extremely needy...in terms of my friends, and my mom...and I am just so thankful that they've stuck with me...because I know that I've been a real pain. In my defense, however, I've never moved this far away before, so perhaps this constant rollercoaster of emotions is how I'm supposed to feel. I'm fine for a few hours; getting excited about the adventure ahead...and then the next minute I'm a complete wreck and in tears...story of my life.
Despite how hard, difficult, confusing, and unexplainable life feels right now, I am so thankful for the support system that both Logan and myself have. Earlier this week, two of my best friends came to rescue me and drove over an hour to help me pack. They knew that I wouldn't ask for help (and they are both right) so they just came willingly. After dinner, and 1/2 off frozen yogurt we totally destroyed the majority of the living room. These girls are beasts. But of course, just when we started to realize that we were done packing for the night (we ran out of duct tape) the tears began to flow. I know that they are happy for me, just as I am happy for myself, but at the same time, it down- right sucks. A very similar thing happened last night when another one of my best friends came over for one last time before she moved to take a big girl job in Florida. It was all nice (well not really, it was really awkward because we knew saying "see you later" was going to have to happen soon) until I walked her to her car...and here came the waterworks. Again, I'm so happy and proud of her, but it sucks that I can't see her all the time.
All of these emotions have really made me realize something...and that something is so clear. I've realized that I perhaps have the best friends that any girl could ask for. I've had many "friends" in my lifetime, and they are no longer here...it just didn't work out, and that's okay. It may have taken me almost twenty-two years of my life to meet my best friends, but I am so glad to have this group of girls. We were talking over the weekend about how within yourself you will truly see your five best friends. I can proudly say that I can see this, and have never had that kind of experience. While having these emotions really stink right now, I'm also grateful to know that I'm experiencing these feelings because I truly do care about these girls, and they feel the same for me. That alone, gives me comfort in this move.
...I now just have to finish packing (with the assistance of Logan and Max of course) and run about a million errands in order to cross off my "to-do" list....which looks more like a endless scroll...
Typing this all down, really helps me de-stress about the whole situation, and I know that it will all be okay. Emotions are good, and I'm glad to have them.
What helps you de-stress?
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